If you follow Seminole Sitters on Facebook or Twitter, you may have noticed us talking a lot about marriage lately. Ms. Lindsey B. became Mrs. Lindsey P. on Saturday, and another Valentine's Day means romance is on everyone's mind today - even Google's got the spirit.

But come tomorrow, does the romance and attention end? Once the roses have wilted, is it back to the same-old, same-old?

So often, the hustle and bustle of family life means parents forget to make time for one another, and by the time the kids are grown and gone, their marriage is suffering - if it's lasted that long.

Studies have shown that not only are parents happier when their marriage is strong, but kids benefit, too. Children are more likely to achieve higher educational levels, and less likely to become teen parents or to experience health, behavior, and mental health problems.

Researchers were sure to state that a child growing up in any other environment is not guaranteed to endure these problems, of course, but "just being married" doesn't quite cut it. It is healthy and stable marriages that help to dramatically decrease the risks:
"In individual situations, marriage may or may not make children better off, depending on whether the marriage is 'healthy' and stable. Marriage may be a proxy for other parental characteristics associated with relationship stability and positive child outcomes. The legal basis and public support involved in the institution of marriage helps create the best conditions for developing factors that children need most to thrive: consistent, stable, loving attention from two parents who cooperate and who have sufficient resources and support from two extended families, two sets of friends, and society."

And that's where we come in. We want to help strengthen your family by providing sitters who can serve as supportive role models in your children's lives, and give you an opportunity to deepen your love for each other.

In the end, restarting that Date Night routine will mean a healthier marriage - and healthier kids, too.

Helping You Bring Date Night Back,
Mary & the Seminole Sitters

P.S. While you're here, check out this free 22-question "yes or no" marriage quiz from Discovery Health. Some interesting questions that make you think!

Though our carriages didn't turn back into pumpkins when the clock struck midnight this New Year's Eve, most of us had already spent some time thinking about how many slices of pumpkin pie and glasses of pumpkin egg nog we'd downed over the course of the last few months. (Pumpkin cheesecake was my guilty pleasure. I tried unsuccessfully to convince myself it counted as a vegetable. Don't tell the kids.)

We hear all kinds of tips for keeping these healthy resolutions beyond March - and most of them involve finding a partner or friend to work out with. But what about your own family?

Take the lead, and take the kids with you. My article from last January regarding childhood obesity ("Food, Fitness, and Fat") rings just as true today as it did then. Parents typically feel more obligated to care for their children than for themselves - tap into that and use it to your advantage. Make it a family resolution instead of one just for yourself - and you'll find you benefit from it as much as the kids do.

I spoke with Allie Fleming of Good Friends Group Fitness, the gym we're partnered with over on Lafayette Street, and she had some good advice:

ME: Any tips for keeping that resolution to work out more?

ALLIE: A family that has fun together stays fit together! Joining a fitness studio or signing up for a sport with a spouse, teenage child or sibling will help motivate you to participate in that activity. Research shows that a social environment is much more effective in helping people stay active for longer durations of time, thus leading to habit-forming patterns of fitness. Set appointments a week or two ahead for those group fitness activities. Having it on your calendar and the peer pressure to keep your commitment will encourage you to push past the afternoon doldrums or other barriers that may get in the way of your workout.

ME: How can kids be involved in a family resolution toward better health?

ALLIE: Engage the kids in indoor activities that not only raise their heart rates, but raise their awareness of how important fitness is in our daily lives. Sometimes, it’s hard to leave the family at home, so take them with you! It's especially important for tweens & teens to begin a workout regimen as their bodies are changing and developing. Children over 10 years of age can usually work out in the same classes or on the same equipment as Mom & Dad, so take them to a spinning class with you or bring them to yoga. Too young to work out? It’s still important to bring them with you; let them help you set up for your workout before they go into the Kids Clubhouse and see that fitness is fun! They will be wanting to join you and live a healthier lifestyle as soon as they can! Another way of fostering a healthy home environment is getting them involved in healthy cooking and eating. Let them help you cook and engage them in picking out the vegetables for that day’s meal. Challenge them to come up with ideas to make the plate colorful and follow the food pyramid.

ME: What are good winter activities for kids, to stay active even when it's cold?

ALLIE: Kids aren’t as bothered by the cold like adults are, so they are willing to play outdoors even when the parents are bundled and shivering. Encourage them to do so, especially if it is sunny and not windy; just make sure they are dressed in layers. A simple game of hopscotch or relay races will get their blood moving and their heart rates up. There are many indoor games and workouts, such as Wii Fit or Kinect for Xbox 360, that get the kids up and off the couch and moving. Low-tech ways of getting their heart rate up indoors is a classic jump rope, a game of Twister or freeze dance. For the real little ones, a game of hot-potato, duck-duck-goose or musical chairs is a great way to get them involved in some active play.

And whether you're 6 or 36, there's no reason why you can't join in that game of tag. :)

Helping You Bring Date Night Back,
Mary & the Seminole Sitters

Thank you, again and again, to everyone who helped sponsor a child this year.

We're already making plans for next year - if you would like to be notified when we are again accepting sign-ups to "adopt" a child, please use the Contact Us page, and request to be placed on the list.

Seminole Sitters will be closed for business each week on Sunday, starting January 9th.

This past year has been a wonderful time of growth - both in the size of our staff and the number of families we serve. I believe it is important to provide my staff with an opportunity to rest, spend time with family and friends, and worship if they choose to do so. By having one full day each week to rest and reflect, we will be better able to serve the families we see Monday through Saturday.

It's like hitting the "reset" button, and serves as much a practical purpose as it does a spiritual. I treasure the sitters that serve with me, and their well-being is worth far more than any "profit" that could be made on any given Sunday. By investing in my team, I know they will be better equipped to invest themselves into your kids.

We will be making one exception; we are sometimes asked to be on-call for a pregnant mother, so we can care for an older sibling when she goes into labor. If we are on-call for you during your pregnancy, and you go into labor on a Sunday, we will absolutely be there for you and your family.

I am so grateful for your business and support, and know this decision will mean a higher level of service for your family and our community.

P.S. Another huge thank-you to everyone who helped sponsor children in the Guardian ad Litem program this year. We were the largest sponsor in the area - because of you - and plan on making this an annual tradition. I've put together a video on YouTube, documenting our month in giving, and welcome all (near and far) to join us next year!

Last year, the babysitters joined me in "adopting" children through the Guardian ad Litem program, and we were able to make the holiday season brighter for a dozen children. This year we have a larger staff, and a larger goal. And we're asking our families and community to join us.

Guardian ad Litem advocates are citizens who volunteer to serve as a voice for abused and neglected children in court. It's very difficult for a child to take the stand against a parent or other authority figure, and their advocate from the Guardian ad Litem program speaks to them privately, then takes the stand for them. During the holidays, getting sponsored might be the only bright spot during this difficult time for them.

Our goal is to sponsor at least 25 of these children.

All you have to do is let me know you want to be involved (use the Contact Us form), and I'll share with you the wish list of a local child. Their unwrapped gift(s) should be ready by December 5th, and the program actually requests that the items not be very expensive.

Please consider joining us, and "adopt" a local child this year.

Helping You Bring Date Night Back (all the while giving kiddos a reason to smile),
Mary & the Seminole Sitters

Sometimes I find myself using the same approaches I try to pass on to the children I babysit:

• It's okay to feel angry, sad, upset, or frustrated - but it's what you DO with those feelings that are right or wrong.
• When something is frustrating you, take your hands off it and walk away. Come back to it later. That doesn't mean you don't finish what you started, but it's okay to wait 20 minutes and try again.

Only, we can't always walk away and come back 20 minutes later when a child is the stressor-in-question. If they're very young, they simply can't be left unattended - and if they're older, walking away could delay (or ruin) an opportunity for a learning moment.

I deeply love the children that I care for, but whether you're a parent, a grandparent, or a caregiver, there are going to be moments where you find yourself counting down from ten.

So as if I'm a child again, learning to handle my emotions, I need to step back from the situation - not walk away, but mentally examine it and "look at the big picture":

1. Is this worth feeling upset over? Am I just annoyed because of the mood I'm already in, or is the child actually exhibiting a behavior that needs to be corrected?
2. If I'm just irritable, it's irresponsible for me to allow that emotion to carry over into my reaction toward a child, and I need to check myself. But if correction is necessary, I need to move past that emotion and ensure that my words and actions are going to benefit that child - that my correction is for the sole purpose of providing guidance now, to help mature him or her for later.
3. Am I being consistent in my correction over time - or am I just wanting to "get this over with" right now?

It's hard sometimes. Whether a man or woman, parent or caregiver - we're humans, and humans are emotional (and even impulsive) before we're rational. We're also creatures of habit; and if we're in the habit of acting out of emotion, before taking the time to think through our words and actions - we end up hurting ourselves and the people around us in the long run, especially children.

Kids bring incredible joy and perspective to the lives of the adults they touch, but they can also put us in situations that are challenging to navigate. Even something as negligible as spilled milk can bring an adult to the brink of tears if it's that "final straw". I want to encourage you, if you are struggling with stress, anger, depression or anything that is inhibiting you from being that grounded and purposed guide in your child's life: you are not alone. Talk openly with your spouse, your friend, any reliable source - get advice, get perspective, and get whole.

I can't tell you how incredible the reward is: to wrestle for weeks with either my own personal emotional clutter or a persistent problem in a child's behavior - and see them finally respond to my deliberately patient, consistent pursuit of their growth and maturation.

Helping You Bring Date Night Back (because grown-up time keeps you sane, too),
Mary & the Seminole Sitters

It's hard not to sympathize with the Tampa father who threatened his disabled daughter's school bus bullies. Knowing your child is being harassed by classmates is enraging, and can leave a parent feeling helpless. But there are steps you can take to equip your child to make the best choices in a tight situation.

Brad Fantle of Tallahassee Taekwondo shared some troubling bullying statistics:

• 23% of elementary students reported being bullied one to three times in the last month.
• 77% of the students said they had been bullied at one point in the past, and 14% of those who were bullied said they experienced severe (bad) reactions to the abuse.
• 90% of 4th through 8th graders report being victims of bullying.
• Half of all bullying incidents go unreported.

While being bullied at one time or another is part of everyone’s childhood, it doesn’t mean your child has to be a victim. Brad also offered some tips for parents to arm their children with the tools they need to repel bullies:

• Body language, such as good eye contact and a clear loud voice, goes a long way. Your child should never challenge a bully, but a confident (not arrogant) attitude could make them a less-likely target.
• Role play with your child. Kids have in mind what they would want to say or do, but they need to role play aloud with your guidance to make it actually work. Practice makes permanent!
• Encourage your child to make a pact with their friends to always help each other, by either staying together, or running for an adult if the situation calls for it. There is strength and safety in numbers.

And of course, remind your child that you have open ears and open arms - so you can be among the first to know if there's trouble. Encourage them to treat others with kindness and respect - and to never join in with a bully, no matter how "cool" or "popular" they may seem. They may already know it, but hearing your expectations directly from you reinforces your family's values.

Music is a great way for parents and children to interact and bond. There is something innately enjoyable about music, and children are drawn to the sounds and rhythms of music.

Cleaning up toys is generally not a fun task for children, but singing a silly clean-up song while putting toys away...all of a sudden things aren’t so bad! Not everyone has taken voice lessons, and many parents do not feel comfortable hearing themselves sing, but remember: your child prefers your singing voice above anyone’s in the world!

Here are a few tips from Lori, owner of ABC Music, on bonding with your child through the use of music:

• Sing in the car.
• Make up a silly song for your child using their name. (You don't need to buy a CD that does it for you - your imagination is free, and kids don't care how well it rhymes or whether it makes sense! The sillier, the better!)
• Sing a favorite song at bedtime. (Lullabies go a long way, but anything will do!)
• Make homemade musical instruments (lots of websites have instructions one how to do this) - kids love to perform, so you may want to put on a CD and play along, or even record their own compositions and play it back for them!
• Attending a parent/child music or dance class - one where you attend and participate with them, instead of the usual "drop-off".
• Attending music/storytime at the library. (Seminole Sitters has a partial schedule on our Kids' Calendar.)
• While you or your spouse are making dinner, turn on the radio and dance with your kids in the kitchen or an adjacent room. It’s a fun way to spend time together as a family!

For those of you with multiples, one of our Sitters would love to accompany you to a parent-child music or dance class, to make sure each child receives that one-on-one attention. And of course, we love music, too - tell us how we can bring some into your child's life!

Like many in the area, Florida State is what initially brought me to Tallahassee. Like many college students, it was my first time living away from home. And I was surprised to find I was the only one on my entire dormitory floor who knew how to cook anything beyond Easy Mac.

Cooking with your kids does more than help them learn their way around the kitchen. We've long known that following a recipe strengthens a child's ability to follow directions, builds their understanding of math and chemistry, and boosts their self-confidence and self-reliance.

And you don't need to wait until they're older to start.

• Take your picky eater to the grocery store with you. Have them identify and choose any three fruits in the produce department they want, bring them home, and make a fruit salad together.
• Instead of leaving cookie dough for your babysitter to bake with the kids, leave all the basic ingredients (flour, sugar, eggs, chocolate chips) and let the kids follow a recipe with her from scratch.
• Believe it or not, a well-sharpened knife is safer than a dull butter knife. While we want to guard those little fingers, your watchful eye and helping hand will do more to protect than a sharp knife will hurt. Dull knives require more force, and that increases the likelihood that the knife will slip and cause harm. If you teach safe habits, they'll remember them.
• Remember: mess is fun! As long as the kids know that clean-up is part of the process, don't sweat the small stuff and they'll always think of cooking as enjoyable.

I'm not a cookbook connoisseur, but Annabel Karmel is my all-time favorite author of books of recipes and nutrition for infants, toddlers, and children. Her website is packed with information and ideas, too.

Next time you're in the kitchen, invite the kids to join you. They'll enjoy the attention, and your next surprise "breakfast in bed" might taste a little better!

If you have a child in preschool or older, have you started to notice that they indirectly choose your friends for you?

It's the cutest thing: they hit it off with a classmate, and everyday you hear about how they did this together, or they did that together...and soon you're setting up a playdate so they can do the same outside of class. You hope you'll "click" just as easily with the new playmate's parents - but there's no guarantees.

Studies have shown that parents who build strong relationships with others who have children of the same age are healthier - emotionally as well as physically. And you've gotta be healthy to keep up with your kids!

Take the lead and make it a point to meet others in your neighborhood, or even strike up a conversation while in line at Publix. You never know where a new friendship will bloom, and even a shy child will eventually follow your example in seeking out new friends.

A Few Local Resources

• Capital City Moms Club Formerly the Best Beginnings Moms Club and currently boasting over 300 members, they have a calendar of events to encourage moms (and dads!) to meet each other and socialize while their kids do the same. The website is hosted on MeetUp.com, where you'll find a handful of other groups for parents, as well as other interests.
• MomsLikeMe local forums The Tallahassee Democrat sponsors the local facet of a nationwide network of online forums for parents. You're able to post and answer questions, join debates and discussions, and just share the parenting experience with others from the comfort of your keyboard.
• Our Kids' Calendar We recently added an events calendar to our website, which has kid-friendly ongoings throughout the week. Many of these are great places to meet other parents, and get plugged in to the community! (You'll also find at the bottom a list of weekly Kids' Nights at local restaurants, when kids eat free!)

I've seen dads participating in each of the suggested resources above - and it's encouraged. So don't be deceived by the names! An involved dad is always a celebrated and welcomed participant. I highly recommend this article to dads who know they need some "parental playdates," as it has so many awesome dad-focused ideas and websites: Connecting with Other Parents: Help for Dads with Cold Feet